Caring for the Soul

January 24, 2016

Free CEU Online Course Credit 2016 FROM PESI

Compassion Fatigue Prevention & Resiliency: Fitness for the Frontline

The Body Keeps Score with Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD

5 Questions to Ask Your Patient: Motivating change
Motivational Interviewing in Healthcare with Stephen Rollnick, Ph.D.

Palm the Present Moment: A practical mindfulness tool

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January 19, 2016


Anti-Stress Coloring is a coloring style of repeated simple patterns known for its calming nature.  Among its relaxing focus, one is to look for the harmony of coloring instead of focusing on one element.  Colors are balanced to reflect ones emotions in the “hear and now”. This increased focus and creativity purposes to provide artistic satisfaction and increased sense of personal well being. The induced relaxed state of anti-stress coloring is similar to the state produced by yoga or meditation.  Results are decreased stress and increased mindfulness.

This form of coloring was discovered when one day, Rick Roberts, a former monk and maker of Native American flutes was watching calligrapher, Maria Thomas working on a manuscript.  She mentioned to Mr. Roberts that the feeling she experienced while doing her illustrations was one of timelessness, freedom and well-being and complete focus with no thought or worry about anything else.

The method of coloring, now taken off in popularity, is also referred to as the Zentangle Method named after Zen. Zen emphasizes precise meditation practices and insight into Buddha nature as well as into daily life. It is strongly influenced by Taoism, and developed as a distinguished Chinese style of Buddhism.

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January 15, 2016

The Mind/Body Connection and Emotional Health

The mind/body connection is how your body responds to the way you think, feel and act.  When you experience stress of any sort, your body tries to tell you that something is wrong.

To have good emotional health and bring emotions into balance one should:

have regular routines
eat healthy meals
get enough sleep
avoid overeating
don’t abuse drugs or alcohol
use relaxation exercises

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December 15, 2015

European Delights: A Sweet Journey Through Europe

European Delights

European Delights

Cakes, cookies, custards, puddings, candies, fried dough, pies and pastries. From the unconventional, recipes of Albanian Walnut Lemon Cake and Lithuanian Poppy Seed Cookies to the classic Tiramisu and Macaroon recipes, this cookbook takes your taste buds on a sweet journey throughout Europe. Desserts have come a long way since the dried fruits of the ancient civilizations as the first candies to soufflés and cakes once sugar began to be manufactured in the Middle Ages. This cookbook contains some of both the simple and more advanced recipes of Europe. It features 40 authentic dessert recipes representing nearly every European country and with each recipe there is a story to tell. The word “dessert” originated from the French word desservir “to clean the table” and these delights will make you want to clean your table a bit faster.

Purchase European Delights

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August 30, 2015

Winning the Lost but Losing Your Family: An Epidemic of Burnout Ministers

Winning the Lost but Losing Your Family

An Epidemic of Burnout Ministers


There is an epidemic of ministers today whose families are being destroyed. Just about every other day I am learning of close friends in the ministry who are going through a separation. The following is a brief analysis of this epidemic and highlights some preventative measures to save your family.


  1. Ask what tempts you. Temptation nearly always comes in three forms:


1) Money

2) Women or

3) Power


  1. Put things in perspective being realistic


  • Remind yourself that acquired earthily procession are not eternal
    • Money is just money
    • You can’t take you Lexus with you when you go see your maker
  • Prioritize reminding yourself you can’t do it all
    • It’s not the end of world if you don’t complete your list of 101 points
  • Ask yourself if it is worth it to save the world, but lose your family
  • Your spouse and children are also your parishioners, they too need care and attention
  • Understand that ministry is hard
    • Not all is a box of chocolates
    • There will be times of low funds/resources, but the grass is not greener on the other side
    • Be understanding of the consuming schedule of the ministry knowing that your time for attention will come


  1. Learn the law of proximity


  • The thing you spend the most time with is that for which you will have the most affection
  • Ask yourself with who or what are you spending most of your time
  • Pheromoneial attraction is a given if you are in close proximity with the opposite sex for a prolonged time
  • Learn to have boundaries (includes both parties of the marriage)
    • no closed doors
    • no afterhours meetings
    • refrain from inappropriate humor or inside jokes keeping things outside of the marriage professional


  1. Prevent burnout


  • Take time to take care of yourself before you can take care others
  • Learn to say no
    • Remind yourself that when you say “yes” to all invitations you don’t have time for football games, recitals, and rehearsals. Then the slack has to be picked up by the other spouse.
  • Delegate
    • Truly delegate meaning relinquish control and don’t micro manage
  • Learn the signs of burnout
    • Loss of passion
    • Feel drained by what used to motivate you
    • Easily angered by what you normally would overlook
    • Experiencing compassion fatigue
    • You make excuses to get out of task
      • You are on cruise control just taking in a paycheck
      • Don’t want to schedule revivals, kids crusades or attend conferences
    • You turn to alcohol to ease the tension


  1. Value the family


  • Don’t just preach about the sanctity of marriage, practice it
    • Have a date night
    • Value the contribution of your spouse with words. Mindreading isn’t real.
    • Take as much time listening to your children as you do listening to others or they will resent you
      • Children are very sensitive to being ignored
      • When you say “I’m busy” this translates to “I don’t love you”
    • One will find attention at all cost so do all possible to make sure this attention is positive and within the family


  1. Be in the Here and Now


  • Leave your cyber-reality to be in reality
    • This communicates you are more important that the internet, the cell phone or others
  • Be with your family with no disruptions
    • Taking your child fishing while you are constantly texting and on the phone is NOT being in the here and now
  • Don’t think about what you should have say or how you should have communicated a point from last weeks message and refrain from thinking about who will be at the next staff meeting


  1. Live in one reality


  • With the influence of cyber-space and depending on your family size, we can live in up to four or more spaces at once: 1) my reality, 2) your reality 3) my cyberspace, 4) your cyberspace and then add two more spaces for each child in the family
  • Share about your different days to defragment spaces so not to be distant not knowing what the other is going through
  • Have a time during the day that is “black” – no technology. Remember that the family that prays and eats together says together.


  1. Ask for help


  • Don’t be a hypocrite, it’s okay to ask for help
  • This means have someone in which you can trust to confide
  • She with your spouse your temptations even at the cost of them getting upset. Getting upset for moments is better that being separated forever.
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July 5, 2015

FREE Discerning Intention Worksheet FROM PESI

Intention is the force directing an act of will. One must be aware of his/her own genuine intentions in order to take responsibility for the consequences of his/her actions.

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June 28, 2015

A Free CE Seminar featuring Bessel van der Kolk, MD


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February 9, 2014

What is Play Therapy?

The Association for Play Therapy’s most recent video is Introducing Andrew to the world which is a creative way of explaining what is play therapy.

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January 20, 2014

10 Strategies to Help My Child Overcome the Fear of the Dark


– No TV or video games or graphic books before bed.
– It’s okay to have a light on.
– Co-sleeping (sleeping with adult) is okay, but not recommended because it’s not solving the problem and could make it worst.
– Right now unsupervised sleep-over’s at friend’s houses is not a good idea- you don’t know what’s going on.
– Switch rooms or bedroom layout of child due to that perhaps something in room is scary – light from street coming in room.
– Calming bedtime routine – mom will know what this could be.
– Have a security item (this helps lessen anxiety so ct. can sleep) – meaning like a flashlight that ct. can keep by bed to make sure there are no monsters – or a time before bed to check to make sure all is safe – sometimes kids are scared of intruder so you can let them make sure doors are locked before bed or let child come up with own solution because only your child truly knows where his fear comes from. Some kids like to pretend that when they are completely under the covers then they are safe.
– Decrease child’s stress as much as possible – establishing a routine for kids helps with this.
– Perhaps have time before bed to get all energy out – because fear of dark is associated with a creative imagination of thinking there is something dangerous in dark.
– Also note, kids who watch too much TV or view things on monitors such as video games or YouTube videos have a greater time reaching a relaxed versus a stressed state of mind.

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January 7, 2014

When Children are Fearful of the Dark

Under My Bed

Under My Bed


1. Children become afraid of the dark once they enter “creative/imaginative stage” around age 3-5. This means that they think up the fears because of an active brain/imagination. If your child is a very imaginative person then perhaps this child needs to have many opportunities to release this energy throughout the day. Drawing, building things, outdoor activities. Limiting TV is a good thing.

2. Also, if you see a psychiatrist as opposed to a counselor or psychologist they will be more pro – drugs since we are talking about an anxiety issue – and I’m not giving advise about medication – however respectfully, some anxiety medications in Europe are not regulated and have many side effects which could result in much more complications than the fear of the dark or the opposite is true – the drug could “work” perfectly. However, be aware that some anti-anxiety drugs will put child in a comatose state, which is basically knocking them out for the night, but is not addressing the anxiety.

3. Listen to your child: Since we are not 100% sure where the fear comes from, we try to find out the real underlying issue – this is done sometimes through talking, but most of the times kids find talking threatening especially boys. If mom does try to talk with son try doing so not face to face, but during a side-by-side activity such as walking, playing game, drawing with mom, driving – males find this less threatening. However, kids are always communicated – so look at drawings, behaviors, what teachers say, short comments.

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